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Thank you for your interest oral sex etiquette. While it's true that women actively pursue a good time, performing oral sex is not the act of martyrdom some would have you believe. You see, a lot of women have an innate attraction to the penis, or at least think it's "neat. So here's your guide to making the experience enjoyable for all parties involved. It's certainly possible, if you study up. A survey concluded that 55 percent of women found oral sex "very normal," 32 percent found it "all right," 9 percent found it "kinky," 4 percent found it "unusual," and 1 percent didn't realize there was any other kind. Strangely, when subjects were asked about instant pudding, the responses were identical.
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Some women avoid receiving oral sex. Maybe it's self-consciousness, a prior negative experience, or just ambivalence. But please, give it another chance. Give it lots of chances. Give it every chance.
Lie back. I am in the super-chill and seXXXy zone. Totally not thinking about that fucking mouth-breather Matt who stole my yogurt from the office fridge today. I showered this morning, but maybe I should have washed "it" again before he came over. Or not, since that kind of feels like something an old-timey French prostitute would do. Does anyone actually use dental dams besides my weird godmother?
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